Today is my 20th birthday, and looking back on my life it's been a crazy trip, especially these last two years. I lost it all, went through a lot of darkness, but at the same time it was an incredible journey, I've met a lot of cool people and I've learned a lot about myself. I've struggled and almost gave up numerous times but I'm happy I haven't yet. I've struggled with depression and addiction most of my life, but today I am thankful for all my friends and just to be alive
I used to consider myself a nihilist and "hardcore Atheist," as you can read on my old blog, but honestly I realize that was just a psychological defense mechanism I was using to hide the fact that I was sad, alone, isolated, living in constant fear and anxiety, etc. What I've learned throughout my journey in life is that every individual has to find their own purpose to life. Too many people in our society are trendy as fuck, wasting too much time on their phones and caring too much of what others think of them, which is how they lose their individuality. An anonymous quote comes to mind, "you were born an original, don't die a copy." I find it funny as most humans claim to be all about individuality and yet we all flock to a clique or group for acceptance when in reality it doesn't matter. Just be yourself and fuck what other people say; it's cliche as fuck but I feel as if I've wasted the past five or six years of my life playing the victim and living in misery. Do you still live in angry days?
One last thing I've realized:
living on the streets I've met some cool motherfuckers, smart motherfuckers, dumb motherfuckers and crazy motherfuckers and I've learned a lot about life through all of them.
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